"A sexy Hollywood tale!"


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From pages 282-284:

 “You’re an attractive man, Trent,” Mrs. H said as she ran those fingernails across my knee. “I assure you, I love my husband, I truly do; but occasionally a girl needs a little something to get her through the doldrums.”
You could practically see the light bulb go off over my head. Yes, I had been very naïve—I assure you, I just didn’t see it coming—but it was now plainly obvious to me what the evening had been about. And I didn’t quite know how to respond to what she was saying—or doing—to me. So I said nothing and I did nothing. I merely allowed her to stroke my knee and drink me in with those sea-blue eyes of hers.
She continued. “I saw how you were with Leonard; the passion you had for your work, for your writing.” Now she was raking her nails along my inner thigh. “I admire that kind of passion, that kind of dedication to your art. It’s what makes you”—this is when she offered the sultriest of sultry smiles—“so very special.”
Before I could say, Mrs. Robinson, I think you’re trying to seduce me, her hand was upon mine, squeezing it gently. “I’d like you to stay with me tonight, Trent.” Before I could respond—and really, I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond—she unleashed herself upon me, pressing her lips to mine; her hand moved from my thigh to my crotch, massaging with abandon. At first I was into it—and I made sure I got a good handful of those tits—but then I remembered: Damn, this woman is the same age as my mother!
I nearly felt sick to my stomach as I ripped myself away. “Mrs. Hammerstein… you’re married! Married to a man I have great respect for!” (That last part about “great respect” was a load of bullshit, but I thought it sounded pretty good.)
I got on my feet and went to retrieve my coat. Then I said, in a somewhat calmer tone, “Thank you for a nice evening, Mrs. Hammerstein. The food was delicious and it was great seeing you again.”
Mrs. H could only look up at me, a determined look in her eyes. “Is it money you want? Because if that’s what it takes…”
I was somewhat offended by the offer; then again, another part of me was, well… not so offended. I mean, c’mon, not once did I ever think I could make a buck by sleeping with a woman!
Mrs. H rose from the couch and stepped over to me, cradling my face in her hands. That sultry little smile was back. “Now don’t tell me you couldn’t use a little walking-around money.”
She had piqued my interest and she knew it. Her smile widened considerably.
“Three hundred dollars, cash,” she said, her tone now all business. “Just sex. No strings, naturally.”
I was definitely interested now. But there was still the matter of our age difference—and that rather prominent diamond ring on the third finger of her left hand.
I broke away from Mrs. H and ambled about the spacious living room and across the hardwood floors, my eyes roaming over the artwork and the photos of that forty-seven-foot sailboat, and I gave it all some thorough consideration.
Three hundred bucks is BULLSHIT. For a chick like Mrs. H, that’s fucking lunch money!
I had a sudden flashback to that asshole Jeff Rowland, remembering his lowball offer and the lack of respect he showed me. And, of course, there was the embarrassingly insignificant three hundred bucks Georgia Stanley paid me for that script. I turned quickly to Mrs. H, looked her right in the eye. “Make it a grand.”
There was that smile again. She moved to me, draped an arm over my shoulder—and now she was looking me right in the eye. She said softly: “Are you even worth it?”
That’s all I needed. I gave her a playful push backward and she collapsed onto the couch, giggling like a school girl. I climbed on top of her and gave her exactly what she wanted.

Available in paperback from Amazon.com 
and Kindle e-Book!





"A great summer read!"



No witches, no warlocks, no vampires. Just a sexy, rollicking story about a guy trying to hit it big in Hollywood.

"A great summer read!"
"A sexy Hollywood tale!"
"It's WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN for the 21st century!"



Disclosure: The link above is an affiliate link, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.


From pages 92-93...

Rowland sat back in his chair. “Now, I’m assuming you know full well how this business works, so I probably don’t need to tell you that this next project could be a long way off. Maybe eighteen months to two years…”
He leaned forward, hands resting on the desk, his fingers interlaced. “What I’d like to do—and please, feel free to tell me if you think I’m at all out of line…”
Please, motherfucker, PLEASE, just get to the fucking point…
“I’d like to take out an option on your script.”
YES! Okay, great, now we’re finally getting somewhere!
“I feel a three year option is appropriate.”
Huh? Three years? Was he fucking kidding me? I really really hoped I had heard him wrong.
“Sorry, Jeff, did you say three years?”
He nodded confidently. “We feel this is the absolute outside timeframe for us to maneuver into position for our second production.”
I chewed on it. Well, three years isn’t exactly forever, especially in the film business. I mean, if he offers a healthy option fee for those three years…
“For three years I can offer you one-thousand dollars.”
My face was blank and I didn’t make a move. But on the inside, my guts churned like the roiling waters of Niagara Falls. A grand? For three years? This had to be a joke. It had to be!
We sat there, looking at each other like a couple of idiots. Finally I spoke up. “Jeff, you said I should tell you if I thought you were out of line…”
Rowland nodded. “Yes, that’s right, I did. So please, by all means…” He sat back in his chair yet again, preparing himself for whatever it was I had to say.
“Well,” I said, “I happen to think that one thousand is pretty low for three years. Nine months, a year maybe…but three years?”
Rowland nodded. “Sure, sure, Trent, I understand completely, I do. Of course, keep in mind, at the end of the option period, there would be a very fair purchase price.”
“If it gets that far,” I mentioned.
There was that smile of his again. “Yes, you are correct. If it gets that far. But I’m confident—in fact, very confident—that we will get that far.” 
Rowland sat there, looking so damned sure of himself. I didn’t want to tell him how you could fill the fucking Grand Canyon with all the misplaced confidence that oozes from Hollywood each and every day of the year. 



# # #

No witches, no warlocks, no vampires. Just a sexy, rollicking story about a guy trying to hit it big in Hollywood.

"A great summer read!"
"A sexy Hollywood tale!"
"It's WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN for the 21st century!"







Writer's block?


There are rare times when I just don't feel like writing. 
But then I sit down, put my fingers on the keyboard...
and the words come. 
Then I can't stop writing. 
Sometimes, just getting started is the hard part. 






My debut novel, Luigi's Chinese Delicatessen, is about a 
young screenwriter trying to make it in Hollywood. 
I think you'll like it. 
Available from Amazon in paperback and Kindle eBook. 
Check it out here.







From Script Magazine: "Why Screenwriters Are Writing Novels"

I recently wrote a piece for Script Magazine titled "Why Screenwriters Are Writing Novels." I hope you'll check it out!

Read it here!




* * *


No witches, no warlocks, no vampires. Just a sexy, rollicking story about a guy trying to hit it big in Hollywood.

"A great summer read!"
"A sexy Hollywood tale!"
"It's WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN for the 21st century!"



Check out my book, Q & A: The Working Screenwriter! Interviews with 16 working screenwriters! 







What Amazon readers are saying about 

“Loved the book!”

“…definitely an adventure ride.”

“The unvarnished truth about what life is like for the aspiring screenwriter in today's movie climate.”

“It's WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN for the 21st century.”

“Fun and funny and oh so realistic! I hope there will be a second story!”

“This book is a lot of fun.”

“If you like good reads...then this is the book for you.”

“The characters were so real and bursting with personality…”

“Very entertaining…”

“…characters are just hilarious.”

“I highly recommend this book to anyone that can read!”

“Impatiently waiting for book two!”

“If you like movies...not the lights-camera-action...but the people behind the stories…then buy this book.”

“I couldn't put it down.”

“This is a great read!”

“Very entertaining…awesome story.”

“…so fun…”

“…great humor…”

“…creative scenes…”

“…addicting…”

"Entertaining cast of characters, tightly written..." 

“…an awesome read.”

“…it was a blast.”

“The story had a great flow…”

“…it was fun to go for a ride through Hollywood with [the main character] Trent.”

"Bravo...!"

“…a must-read for all movie lovers…and a good read for everybody else.”

“Jim Vines writes a great story.”

“…fast-paced…compelling…”

“…a page-turner…”

“…a thoroughly enjoyable read.”

“…had my full attention right from the first page.”

“I loved the characters and the humor.”

“I found myself not wanting to put the book down until I was finished.”

“What a great read!”

“I enjoyed Luigi's Chinese Delicatessen immensely.”

“I didn't want it to end.”

“...fun and refreshing…”

“…even though Trent is a fictional character he sure feels real…”

“The story moves at a great pace.”



AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK AND KINDLE
FROM AMAZON.COM!!





The Novelist Screenwriter: An Interview



I received an e-mail a few weeks ago from Dylan Bruce, a screenwriter I've known (through e-mail and phone calls) for about ten years. He was one of the first people who read Luigi's Chinese Delicatessen, my debut novel. He said, “Let me be part of your publicity machine. Let me interview you about the book!" After I got done laughing, I thought about it. Dylan had done an interview with me a number of years ago and we had some fun with it, so I figured, "OK, sure!" So over the usual e-mail and phone conversations, we knocked out this interview. —JV



Dylan Bruce Interviews Jim Vines, Author of Luigi’s Chinese Delicatessen


DB: First of all, Jim, I enjoyed the book. It was a lot of fun and quite a ride!

JV: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

DB: I know the book is a work of fiction, but I have to ask: You're a screenwriter in Hollywood and your main character, Trent Nordhoff, is a screenwriter in Hollywood. Is any of the story—any of it at all—based in reality?

JV: Some of it, sure. Not my reality, perhaps, but somebody’s reality. No, to be honest, there are bits and pieces that are based on things I’ve experienced, but for the most part it’s a work of fiction.

DB: After writing screenplays for so many years, why did you decide to write a novel?

JV: Yeah, it’s kinda odd. I mean, if you had told me just a few years ago that I’d pen a novel, I would’ve laughed. But ya know, I really, really enjoyed the process. I loved the freedom of writing a novel. I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed writing screenplays. Also, with a screenplay, if it’s on spec, very few people are going to read it. Sure, maybe a few of your friends, you agent, your manager, maybe a handful of producers or executives. But if it doesn’t get sold, it becomes a doorstop. If it never gets made into a movie, that great story you came up with is gone. But with a book, you can publish it yourself and get it out into the world. Even if you sell just a few hundred copies of that book, that’s far more than would’ve read your unsold, un-optioned screenplay. Of course, I sure hope to sell more than a few hundred copies. We’ll see how it goes.

DB: Isn’t Luigi’s the end result of a NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)?

JV: Well, yes and no. Here’s what happened: I had heard about NaNoWriMo over the years, but I was a screenwriter, not a novelist. Then when I decided I wanted to write the novel, I went online and got all the info about NaNo. I’m not much of a joiner, so signing up for the NaNoWriMo really wasn’t gonna happen. Don’t get me wrong, I think NaNo is great, and it gets a lot of writers writing books, but it just wasn’t something that I found necessary for myself. But I liked the idea of cranking out a novel in one month. So a few weeks later I looked at the calendar and said, “OK, Vines, one month from today you’re gonna have the first draft of your novel.” I was sitting and writing about five minutes later. I slapped down a lot of words over the next couple of weeks. I remember quite clearly my word count at the 17 day mark. It was just over 25,000 words. I plowed forth, totally focused on getting the first draft done by the thirty day mark. I went a bit over my target date, crossing the finish line on the 34th day. At least I thought I did. After reading through the manuscript I realized I wanted a couple more scenes. So I spent three more days getting those written. On the thirty-seventh day I had just over 80,000 words. The novel was done. All I had to do was edit and make it as shiny as I could. I had a couple of paid script assignments and some personal issues I had to take care of, so editing was a process that would take another couple of years.

DB: Did you edit as you were writing?

JV: Well, not really. I mean, if I’m writing on a yellow pad and then transpose it over to the computer, I’ll usually do some editing along the way. But I prefer to just put the words down, get it all done, then later go back and clean things up one page at a time. I think it important, psychologically speaking, to just get the project done.

DB: How much of that original draft remained in the published book?

JV: I don’t think it changed too radically. If I had to make a guesstimate, I’d say I changed about 20% of that original draft. I’ve written a lot of screenplays over the years and I’ve trained myself not to write material I’m gonna cut. Most of my editing is just trimming up paragraphs, trimming dialogue, fixing my lousy punctuation…that sort of thing. But cutting entire sequences…well, that doesn’t happen very often.

DB: Did you outline this book?

JV: When I write a screenplay, I always outline. And I tell all up-and-coming screenwriters to never ever start a script without at least a bullet point outline. But with the book I just dove right in. In fact, I didn’t even start it at the beginning. I wrote several of the later chapters first and then doubled back and wrote all the introduction stuff. At least one segment, the segment with that horrid Georgia Stanley, which comes about three-fourths of the way through the story, was pretty much the last thing I wrote. I added Georgia because I thought the story needed that extra bit of drama. So no, I didn’t outline the book at all. Again, that’s why I enjoyed the process so much; I was able to go where I wanted to go, wherever my imagination took me. That sort of thing is more difficult when you’re writing a screenplay. That said, I have a feeling I’ll draw up some sort of outline with subsequent novels.

DB: OK, getting to some of the specific characters in the book…

JV: Sure.

DB: So I have to ask: Was the MILF character, Laura Hammerstein, a real person? Was she someone you actually knew?

JV: Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t.

DB: OK, so that tells me she was real!

JV: I didn’t say that.

DB: So what about Megyn [the "figure" model]?

JV: Well, I’d say maybe 30% of Megyn is a person I once actually knew.

DB: What about that little hottie, Chloe? Did you ever pick up a girl who was hitchhiking, take her out, get her drunk…

JV: C’mon, Dylan, didn’t you read the copyright page? It clearly states: “This is a work of fiction.”

DB: Too bad. Don’t tell my wife, but I think Chloe was pretty hot.

JV: You liked her? I mean, you’d really want to date someone like that?

DB: Hell yeah! Nothing like a good challenge!

JV: Then go take a walk around Hollywood. You’ll probably meet Chloe’s twin in about five minutes. But why are you asking me about all those nasty little trollops? Why don’t you ask me about Crystal?

DB: Ah, right—Crystal. It seems she was based on a girl you once really knew…someone you had a thing for at one time.

JV: Crystal was definitely real, for the most part. But it real life we only spoke, briefly, a few times. But yeah, she was a girl that I—well, it’s all kinda heartbreaking, really.

DB: Sorry to hear it.

JV:  I got over it…eventually.

DB: Getting back to the Georgia character. She was a total bitch. When it was revealed what she did to Trent, I was so f***ing mad!

JV: Yeah, she’s pretty infuriating.

DB: Did you ever have a run-in with such a person in your years as a screenwriter?

JV: Well, I can’t say I ever crossed paths with anyone quite as loathsome as Georgia Stanley, but I sure did run across my fair share of wicked people.

DB: Your main character, Trent Nordhoff, is no saint, either, especially in the way he deals with Mrs. Hammerstein.

JV: He likes her and has a certain amount of respect for her…he’s just doing what he has to do to survive. I don’t think you can totally blame him. He’s just a young guy, and she’s a hot, older woman.

DB: A hot married woman!

JV: Sure, if you want to get technical about it…

DB: Don't you think Trent was a little on the immature side?

JV: In a lot of ways, he definitely is. But I think most guys in their mid-20s are.

DB: He also seems pretty cynical.

JV: He doesn't start off that way, but yeah, after a handful of years, he has an edge that wasn't necessarily there previously.

DB: Are you a cynical person?

JV: Well, I've been involved in the movie industry, in one form or another, for many years, so I'm kinda inured to it. Fact is, it can be a rough place. Sure, there's lots of glamour and glitz and palm trees and pretty people, but underneath it can be quite nauseating, quite cold. It's not easy carving a little niche in this town, so I don't think you can help being at least a little bit cynical. Besides, there's a lot of bull getting thrown around in this town. If you believe everything people tell you—"Oh, we love your script!" and “We’ve got the financing!”—you're in for a rough ride. But for a young guy like Trent, someone who grew up far from Los Angeles, you can see how his bubble would burst after a very short time. But hey, conflict is drama, right? If everything was peaches and cream all the time, who'd read the story?

DB: Getting back to your writing process: So you just sat down at the computer and wrote?

JV: Actually, I rarely used a computer in my initial writing phase. I sat with a pen and yellow legal pad and just started writing. I was really astonished how quickly this book came to me. It just poured out, almost as if someone had been dictating over my shoulder. This has happened to me many times before, but it was quite pronounced with this novel. It was kinda scary. But good scary! Anyway, once I’d get a decent amount written on the legal pad, I’d transpose it on the computer. I’d go back and forth between legal pad and computer. As I already said, I got the first draft down pretty quick.

DB: So why did you choose Luigi’s Chinese Delicatessen as your first novel? 

JV: I actually think it chose me. Again, I've been floating around "Hollywood" for a number of years and it's a setting I know well. I've also met, in one form or another, most of the characters that populate the story. I've known people who were similar to [the characters of] Kurt, and Red, and Jean-Claude. I've been to a handful of industry soirees where the people you meet hand out their business card at the end of the conversation. But what drew me to write Luigi’s, I think, was that it's an adventure story. Not an adventure about a guy in search of the Ark of the Covenant, or hunting a giant ape, but a story about a young man dropping what's comfortable—family, friends, a secure job—and driving 2500 miles to begin a life—he hopes—as a Hollywood screenwriter. Now if that's not an adventure story, what is?

DB: In one of your recent blog posts [2/10/15] you wrote about transitioning from screenwriter to novelist. You wrote, “If a script doesn’t get produced, if it doesn’t get made into a movie, that great story of yours is relegated to the dark void known as obscurity. Ah, but this is not necessarily so with a novel, especially nowadays with the self-publishing boom. A writer can pen their tome and, with a few clicks of a mouse, send that book out into the world.” Can you elaborate on that a little?


JV: I became a screenwriter primarily because I wanted to tell stories. I wanted to entertain. For years I thought the only truly fun and interesting way to do that was by getting a movie made. Turns out I was wrong. Getting a script produced is a daunting task. You have to jump through a few dozen hoops just to get somebody to say, “Yes, we want to make this into a movie.” Then there’s always the huge possibility that you’ll jump through those few dozen hoops and a few dozen more and still end up with a screenplay that’s nothing more than fodder for the recycle bin. Now, with a novel, you’re completely in control. You write it, you cast it, you’re the cinematographer, you’re the set designer…you’re even in charge of make-up and wardrobe! The finished product—that bound novel—is like this neatly packaged movie that will play out in the mind and imagination of the reader. The best part: you don’t need anybody’s permission; you don't need anybody to say “yes.” I just think there’s something extraordinarily satisfying about that. 

DB: I love the title: Luigi’s Chinese Delicatessen. How’d you come up with it?

JV: My girlfriend and I talk on the phone every night. Well, every night that we’re not actually together. Anyway, one night she called and—being the goofball that I am—I answered the phone with the incongruous, “Hello, thanks for calling Luigi’s Chinese Delicatessen. How may I help you?” I had been thinking about titles for the book for a while, so after I hung up with my girlfriend, I got to thinking, “Hmm…Luigi’s Chinese Delicatessen. Now that sounds like a really good title for the book.” Then I tried to figure out how to incorporate that title into the story. Happily, I figured it out pretty quick.

DB: Are you planning to write any other novels?

JV: Definitely! I’ve got other ideas, other genres. Whatever success I’ve had as a screenwriter has been in the horror and thriller genres. I’d like to try a horror novel; also a thriller. This is all an experiment right now. I’m just having fun seeing where it all goes. Having fun is the biggest reason why I write. If you’re not having fun, it’s just not worth it. I feel sorry for people who do jobs only for money. There’s a saying: “Do a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I think that’s very true.

DB: Will there be a sequel to Luigi’s Chinese Delicatessen?

JV: It’s funny. A few of my beta-readers told me I had to write a sequel. I just had to! So sure, if the folks reading Luigi’s 1 want a Luigi’s 2, they’ll most definitely get it!
#



No witches, no warlocks, no vampires. Just a sexy, rollicking story about a guy trying to hit it big in Hollywood.

"A great summer read!"
"A sexy Hollywood tale!"
"It's WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN for the 21st century!"




***
Dylan Bruce can be contacted at DylanBruce70(at)hotmail.com


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LUIGI'S CHINESE DELICATESSEN

Now available in paperback from Amazon.com 
and Kindle e-Book!

Photography (c) Jim Vines